Triggers and Glimmers: A Nervous System Plan for Everyday Life

Have you ever noticed how certain moments can throw you off completely—like someone’s tone of voice or a change in your routine—while others seem to ground you instantly, like the sun on your face or a kind smile from a stranger? These everyday moments are part of what Deb Dana, a clinician and expert in Polyvagal Theory, calls "triggers" and "glimmers."

Understanding these two experiences—and making a plan for them—can help us better care for our brain and nervous system. Whether you're navigating parenting, healing from trauma, supporting children, or just trying to stay steady in a chaotic world, this concept offers a practical and compassionate way to feel more regulated and connected.

What Are Triggers and Glimmers?

Triggers are cues that shift us into a state of dysregulation. This might look like:

• Feeling anxious, frozen, irritable, or overwhelmed

• Shutting down or disconnecting from others

• Wanting to flee, fight, or hide

These are signs that our nervous system has shifted into protection mode, which is automatic and shaped by past experiences. Triggers aren’t a sign of weakness—they’re signs that your nervous system is trying to keep you safe.

On the flip side, glimmers are small moments of safety, connection, and regulation. They bring a sense of ease or calm. Examples include:

• Hearing your favorite song

• A warm cup of tea

• The smell of eucalyptus

• A text from a friend

• The sound of waves

Glimmers help us move into a regulated state, where we feel more grounded, curious, connected, and able to think clearly. In Polyvagal Theory, this is known as ventral vagal state—the “safe and social” part of the nervous system.

Why This Matters for the Brain and Nervous System

Our nervous system is constantly scanning the environment for cues of safety or danger—a process called neuroception. When it senses danger (even if the threat isn’t real or current), it shifts us into survival mode, which affects:

• Brain function (it’s harder to think clearly or make decisions)

• Emotions (we may feel reactive or numb)

• Relationships (we may withdraw or lash out)

• Physical health (increased heart rate, digestion changes, fatigue)

By intentionally mapping our triggers and glimmers, we can build a nervous system support plan that helps us:

• Recognize when we're becoming dysregulated

• Gently return to regulation using things that feel safe

• Build awareness of what supports or challenges us

• Feel more in control and less at the mercy of overwhelming emotions

How to Create Your Triggers and Glimmers Plan

Here’s a simple way to get started with Deb Dana’s approach:

1. Name Your Triggers

Make a list of things that commonly leave you feeling:

• Anxious, edgy, or panicked

• Shut down, disconnected, or numb

• Angry, frustrated, or helpless

This isn’t about avoiding everything that’s hard—but about bringing awareness so you can prepare and respond with care.

2. Name Your Glimmers

Write down moments, people, places, sensations, or memories that help you feel:

• Calm

• Safe

• Uplifted

• Reconnected to yourself or others

Keep this list somewhere you can refer to daily—on your fridge, in your notes app, or in a journal.

3. Make a Support Plan

Match your triggers with possible glimmers or regulation tools. For example:

• Trigger: Loud environments → Glimmer/Support: Noise-canceling headphones, step outside for a minute

• Trigger: Feeling rushed → Glimmer/Support: Slow, deep breaths or gentle stretching

• Trigger: A child's meltdown → Glimmer/Support: Hand on heart, remind yourself: "We’re both doing our best."

A Daily Practice for Nervous System Care

You don’t need to wait for a crisis to use this plan. Make it part of your daily nervous system hygiene—just like brushing your teeth:

• Start your day by inviting a glimmer in (music, movement, nature)

• Notice moments of regulation and name them

• Use your plan when you feel off-track or overwhelmed

• Celebrate even small moments of nervous system balance

Life can be unpredictable and demanding, especially when you’re supporting children, navigating trauma, or juggling multiple roles. A Triggers and Glimmers Plan is a gentle way to honor your nervous system and bring more ease into your day.

You don’t need to be perfect. You don’t need to fix everything. You just need to notice what helps you feel safe—and offer yourself more of that, more often.

🌿 Want to learn more about caring for your nervous system and parenting with intention?

Join me in the upcoming Parenting on Purpose Masterclass this November—a warm, real-life guide to raising kids without burning out. We'll explore nervous system care, boundary-setting, and strategies that work for neurodivergent and trauma-informed families.

👉 Email us at cvcounselling.office@gmail.com for details!